why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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