But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
