I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
