I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
