She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
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I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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