Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
