dude i'm inner monologue high
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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