i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
