I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
