you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
