At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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