I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
