A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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