My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
