Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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