you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
