omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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