my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Your penis caused this!
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