Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
