Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
