I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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