Cold hands, warm shart.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
