turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
