well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
false alarm, still single
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
