Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
