and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
