It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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