How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
