Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
