evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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