i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
