I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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