1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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