We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
