I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
40s are totally the cure
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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