there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
