my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
