i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
