I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
fuck your aforementioned shoe
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
