I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
