I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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