So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
