Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
