Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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