Sry I called you an 8
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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