So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have feelings that need drinking.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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