I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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