Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
