i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish i was in the wii world.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
