Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize