I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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