..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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