I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
