Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
