I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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