Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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