I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
