I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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