After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
