Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
