I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
