This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
