Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
