tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No subtext here. People are naked.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
