I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
