and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
