I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
