I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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