there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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